I’m still a baby in the blogging world, Until Now has only been live for about 2 months. (Well, 3 or 4 if you count the time I kept it hidden and pretended I was internet famous and that people actually wanted to read what I had to say – but we don’t have to talk about that…)
I love writing, I have for as long as I can remember. In Primary School I would enter prose competitions with amazingly creative pseudonyms like, ‘Princess Buttercup’. I was 8! Put away that judgey face!
When I got to high school, I got a ridiculously large crush on my English teacher so I wrote even more. (Because if I wrote enough, he would see that I was amazing and then when I finished school, we could run away together and live happily ever after. Sigh. Teenage dreamer drama.) Again, we don’t have to talk about that…
We moved countries, I discovered boys more appropriately aged and I found less and less time for writing – so I stopped.
It was a few months ago when Cooper had settled into a routine and I found myself with some unexpected free time in my days, and a little less exhaustion in my evenings that I decided I wanted to give it a go again.
I mentioned it to Brent one night after we had gone to bed – I told him what I thought I could write about and what I thought I could call my site and I absolutely expected him to laugh and say something noncommittal like, “uh huh, that would be cool” and move on. Not because he doesn’t take an interest in my passions, but because I am a HOBBIES ADDICT. Uuuntil I’m not anymore.
I have boxes and boxes of hobbies gone by supplies in my garage. From the time I made candles in tea cups and then got bored, the time I started wood-burning then couldn’t find the time for it, the time I made necklaces, there are wooden boards and paint from when I painted quotes in pretty fonts onto recycled timber, picture frames filled with typography I created but then discovered a new hobby and moved on.. I will stop there because it’s embarrassing how out of control this is but you get the picture.
He didn’t laugh though! He said he could help, got up right then, bought me my domain name, set up some hosting (and whatever else goes on behind the scenes) and then handed me the laptop and showed me how to make it pretty. I had no choice but to get started. Brent had invested in me, so I began.
My first post was about something close to my heart. Post Natal Depression. I wanted to write about what I went through because I went through it at a time where we didn’t write about it. We didn’t talk about how hard mum life could be and I thought I was alone.
I wanted it to help other mums, encourage more mums going through it, or on the other side of it to share their stories and if only one mum ever stumbled across my story and felt a little less alone, I’d be happy.
I found thought that it also helped me. To see it all written out, drafted a hundred times, cut into pieces and then put back together into something I was proud of. I have come so far and it can be easy to forget to take a step back and really see and be proud of that. Now I have, and I’m so glad I did.
In the ‘how to blog’ crash course I took myself on to make sure I was doing this right before I was brave enough to switch my site over to live, I found hundreds of posts on the importance of finding your ‘niche’.
That was when I panicked.
Here I was starting out and I was already doing it wrong! I didn’t have a niche – I wasn’t writing about fashion, or the latest bachelor, I didn’t have expert advice on how to anything. I read those blogs – I follow hundreds, and I love them so much, but what I had written was my story, my life, my feelings, my experiences.
I didn’t know where that fit – I felt like maybe the blog life wasn’t for me. I tried writing the way the articles I was reading said to write and I hated it – it wasn’t me. I almost gave up.
I went on a hunt for bloggers without a niche, and I found them. A big old mix of people writing just for the love of writing. About whatever comes to mind, whatever they’re feeling, or remembering or experiencing at the time.
Our niche is Us. Self discovery, a love of writing, a record of our journey through life and the lessons we’re learning, written in any way we please.
When I clicked over to live, I wasn’t sure anyone at all would read my work if I’m honest, and I was ok with that because I was enjoying what I was doing so much – it was good for my soul to have something that was just for me to do. The fact that so many of you do, and come back every week for more makes my heart fluttery.
One of my new favourite things has become the evenings when my days full of taking care of the minis is done, the house is quiet, and I can put my feet up and get out the laptop to type out some words before I fall asleep. Sometimes what I write is inspired by a quote I’ve read, or something one of the minis have done, a memory that surfaced out of nowhere, or how I’m feeling when I sit down to write. Sometimes I begin something and find I can’t quite figure it out yet and move on to another topic, only to come back to it at another point and rework it into something I love.
I have found such an amazing community here in the blogging world. I’ve stumbled, more than once, across writers that I can relate to on so many levels – I’ve read posts where I’ve found myself reading what could easily have been written by me – my thoughts, my opinions and my feelings.
There have also been times where I’ve posted something I’ve found a little scary to share but then found (in my searches to make sure that other people are as messed up as I am) that at least one someone had written something similar, or felt something similar and spoken about it in one way or another and the voice inside of me that was yelling that maybe this was one that I should never have hit publish on, quietens down and focusses on being proud that it’s out there.
I love when I see bloggers stories that are inspired by other bloggers writing, that we’re all here together, sometimes with nothing at all in common but our love of words, praising each others work, loving our differences and bonding over our similarities when we discover them.
Stay at home Mum life, while amazing, can be so incredibly lonely. To be able to read that there are people out there that feel the way I do, about mum-ing and just life-ing in general, has made my days feel less isolated and I feel comforted in the knowledge that we’re all just balls of mixed up feelings and figuring life out as we go.
Writing has given me something outside of nappies and grocery shopping lists and nap schedules to focus on, and finding my voice, remembering the passion I had for writing, sharing my work again has been amazing. I’m so grateful for that little bit of ‘me’ time I’m able to squeeze in every day and I’m so grateful to you, for coming back and sharing my journey with me.
So why do I blog?
Not to quit my 9-5 (which is more like 5-9 at the moment. Thanks Coops!). I blog for me. To write through my feels and my life craziness. But also for you, to look at when you feel like it. To maybe be able to say “me too” every now and then, and feel a little more ‘ok’ in your life confusion.