2017 was a tough year.
2018 has been a little tough too really – but with one main difference.
I realised at the end of it, that so much of 2017’s ‘terrible’ was me dwelling on what other people thought, trying to fit where I didn’t, saying yes when I wanted to say no..
I had no boundaries.
I was unsure and insecure and so I let other peoples opinions decide how I felt about myself.
I cared too much, went too far out of my way to explain myself to people that didn’t deserve it, let people treat me badly or take advantage of my willingness to go the extra mile and I did nothing about it. I went so far out of my way to make other people happy that I sacrificed my own happiness.
I don’t regret much in life (I’m a firm believer in every mistake helping to shape the me that I’ve become) but. I do regret how much time I’ve spent not saying what I think because I’ve felt like maybe my opinion wasn’t valid. Or not standing up for myself when people were awful. Or not saying no because I didn’t want to disappoint people who, when the time came, had no issues disappointing me.
Towards the end of the year, I retreated.
Something had to give.
I deactivated all of my social media. I took a step away from the people that were taking away the sunshine from my life instead of adding to it.
I took some time to regroup. To focus on me, and my family.
Putting yourself first sometimes doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you a wise ass lady.
Falling in love with yourself and making you and your happiness a priority isn’t just ok. It’s EXACTLY the right way to live.
It’s ok to put boundaries in place.
To decide what you are and aren’t willing to put up with and then draw those lines.
It’s ok to stand up for yourself.
To have unpopular opinions.
To walk away when something no longer makes you happy.
It’s ok to be who you are, in all of that glory!
People take their cues on how to treat you from what you put up with.
So say no when you want to. Don’t explain yourself so much to people who don’t deserve it. Don’t apologise so much for things you don’t really need to be sorry for! Speak your mind when you need to. Don’t be afraid to say when someone isn’t treating you well.
Don’t be afraid to be wholeheartedly who you are just in case you offend someone.
You only have one life. Don’t live it for other people.
Live it for you.
Make yourself proud.
Put you first. Your happiness, your inner peace. You deserve it.
Be kind, but be tough.