Friday! At last.
What a week.
It seems like we might have reached the light at the end of the tunnel of a two-year long battle. It remains to be seen – my hopes are high though.
I’ve been on a business trip to Auckland for the last part of the week.
It’s only my second visit back since I left.
I felt a weird sense of unease as our plane landed and I was back here alone.
The breakup was hard, but it was the right thing.
Life afterwards was a crazy mix of the best and hardest times of my life. I didn’t realise how much of it I had tried to block out.
The nights I would go without food so Alex could eat, the weeks I would cry at the seeming impossibility of making ends meet, the phone calls of desperation to my mum who would always be there with her reassuring wise words that things would get better.
Somehow, in the midst of all of that though I found a strength in myself I hadn’t known was there.
It was the first time in my life that I’d had no choice but to trust myself.
To be myself.
To find out who that self was.
Still, there was still so much growing to do. To go from the timid, insecure, unsure, terrified me that I was before, to the me that I am today.
To be back here, to be able to look back and see how far I’ve come – I feel proud.
Proud of the work that I’ve done to get to where I am today, proud of the hard times I’ve made it through.
Proud of the path that I’ve forged and all the possibilities for the future that has created.
I’m Dee. Still a little unsure sometimes, but strong. Firm. Happy.
It’s been a good week.
A good chance for reflection.
Have a great weekend!