This is not Dee….

She left her site unlocked while away on her business trip, so I thought it would be fun (slightly stalker-ish – but in a cute way) if I left her a little post from the outside of her mind looking back at her.

I’m not at all wordy, I’m not terribly articulate, I don’t normally even talk a lot, so bear with me here while I muddle out some words in a manner that will in no way do Dee’s blog justice – and for all of this I apologise in advance…

From the very moment I met Dee I knew something special was in motion. She listened intently to my babbling about routers and bgp and teams of engineers who may appear like six year old children but were in reality some of the best humans I have worked with. And she listened and she responded and she laughed…… and I knew right then…. right at that moment, I was done.

And so there were conversations, and discussions, and banter and every single time, there was a connection, a closing of distance, a knowledge that this was going somewhere, somewhere we both wanted it to go. There was one particular day, we had been talking over a drink, about our kids – before either of us had even really met our respective progeny, about how they drove us nuts but we loved them like mad and while telling a story about AJ she laughed a pure, unbridled, full laugh and suddenly in that split second my world turned from this grey feeling monotony to a kaleidoscope of rainbow colours all streaming out of her and surrounding me.

And that was it.

I was going to marry her and live with her until I was 70 (upon which time she had the run of the retirement village and I was cast aside).

It took some doing – getting to the point where we could be a couple, there were things to wrap up, difficult things. There were kids to consider, they met, they fell in love too – all of them with each other. There were hurdles to jump, a number of sometimes fairly high hurdles. But one thing was constantly obvious to me. The “us” things weren’t hard.

They weren’t issues – all of the hard and the issues were the external hard issues – everything internal was as if it were just meant to be. Every time I felt we were about to stumble, she surprised me with how on the same page we are.

Again, when we finally were a couple there were similar hard issues to deal with, things that can wear you down and dull the gloss on a relationship and yet through it all Dee remained the driving force, the one enacting real change on all of us in this family, making us all better people – bringing that kaleidoscope of colours streaming in around our growing family.

This is the thing about Dee, she’s an enigma.

From the outside you see this beautiful woman who can make anybody do anything with a bat of the eyelids and a flick of the hair. But if she lets you in, or if you’re just lucky enough to get close, you’ll realise that you are in the presence of someone who is continually changing, continually re-evaluating who she is today in order to evolve into a better version of herself tomorrow.

If you’re as lucky as I am, she’ll do the same for you. She’ll push you, challenge you, cajole you even and suddenly you’ll realise you too have changed, evolved and become a better person – and in the process find yourself in a better, stronger family.

It’s been a tough few recent months, our schedules have changed, our roles have changed and we’ve dealt with some hurdles that looked bigger than most. But today, again she surprised me, I asked her outright where we were at and she answered as only she can with the words I didn’t expect, but loved to hear. And then we both made the same joke, at the same time and again, those colours, flooded in and surrounded me.

And so we find ourselves years from our initial meeting over coffee and routing protocols feeling like it’s been just minutes since I sat across from Dee next to the exit with her wearing her patented black pants and white blouse. Yet we’re here, 3 original kids amazingly blended and now our 4th who really is the cheese on the top of the pizza (I’d say ‘Icing on the cake’, but she’s not an icing kind of girl) and I am so looking forward to the future with her. I’m looking forward to us growing, evolving and becoming better than we were the day before last. And I expect that I’ll look back when I am 70 (and she’s running amok in the retirement village) and still think that we met just minutes ago and love her just for being her, all of her, not just the ‘her you see when you meet her’ her.

I’m not wordy, I’m not articulate – but she makes me want to change and she’s leading by example.

It’s nothing fancy, it’s just love.


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