Someone I trusted let me down today.

Someone I respected.

Someone I expected to be in my corner.

It feels awful.

Someone else called me naive because of how devastated I was by their actions.

Naive. (adj) : (of a person or action) showing a lack of experience, judgement or wisdom.

It was naive of me to expect the best of that someone.

Naive to feel as let down as I do.

It’s not the first time I’ve been called naive.

I doubt it’ll be the last.

I expect the best in people. I hope for the most positive outcome in most situations.

I expect reason and rationality. I expect cooperation and a willingness to help out. I expect that extra mile.

For someone who anxiously plans for every outcome, I’m always shocked at how bitterly disappointed I find myself when I need to put those backup plans into action.

I’m emotional, impulsive, I think before I speak more often than I’m proud to admit. But I can admit when I was wrong.

I’ll always find a way to apologise when I’ve calmed down and realised I’ve overstepped the boundary line and make up for the wrong I’ve done. Fix my mistakes. When I can’t, it eats away at me endlessly.

I don’t always get it right, but I try really hard to learn from every experience and use every single one to be better next time.

I expect that same effort in return.

I don’t know, maybe I am naive.

I hope I never grow out of it.

I hope that with the ‘experience’, ‘judgement’ or ‘wisdom’ that definition says are the antidotes to this condition, that I never lose that naivety.

I hope I always look for the good. Always hope for the best.

I hope I always get over the top excited about my successes, and the successes of the people around me.

I hope that I make it to the top, but I hope I make it there by working hard, by helping others instead of pushing them down for my own gain.

I hope my ‘childish optimism’, my ‘moral idealism’ is something I’m remembered for.

I hope it always shocks me when life isn’t fair.

I hope spite always catches me off guard.

I hope I never become so bitter that I look for the worst in situations. That I expect the worst from everyone around me. That I assume goodness or hope are weaknesses and replace them with anger and resentment.

I wish there wasn’t such a negative connotation to the trait, but I’m Dee.

I’m naive.

I’m ok with that.

And I wish we were all a little more naive sometimes.With Love

 

 

 

One thought on “Naive

  1. I totally agree with you. I would rather be an open hearted person and not become hard and bitter and cynical. Is it your fault you trusted the wrong person? Were you to blame? I don’t think so at all. People would do far better to keep their judgements to themselves and show compassion.

    Like

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